My first love language is Quality Time and here’s what that means
I will ask you a lot of questions because I want to get to know you in every possible way.
I’ll be interested in your past and all the steps you’ve taken, because that’s what made you into the person you are now. And it will keep shaping you as you go on living your life, with or without me.
I hope you’ll share stories about the people you’ve been with, relationships you’ve had, friends you don’t see anymore, friends you do have, and why you choose to spend your time with them. I want to know how you treat people around you, how they treat you, but most of all: how that makes you feel. And if that’s how you want it to feel.
I will tell you about the people that have been in my life, what they meant to me and what they’ve taught me. But please, don’t agree with me on everything. Actually, question everything I say. Let me learn. The only reason I’m spending my time with you is because I believe we have something to tell each other. Something others haven’t told me before, or in a way I wasn’t able to understand yet.
I want you to tell me the things you regret doing at the end of the day, why you wish you had done it differently. What did it remind you of?
I want to hear about the dreams you have and what they mean. Tell me you miss your parents, or not, who live on another continent. And tell me why. Always tell me why. It makes things so much easier to understand.
Tell me when you’re worried, or what people do to get on your nerves. Tell me about the tiniest things that make you happy, like coffee in the morning, or walking in the park. I will remember, and you will know.
I might use whatever knowledge I gain from your stories, tease you with it, and await your response. This too, will tell me so much about you.
My jaw will drop more than once, perhaps in unexpected moments. You’ll be able to read all of my expressions by just looking at my eyes. You could say I’m an open book because I like to talk about everything. It’s the only way you’ll get to know me. And by sharing my story, I hope it will make you feel more comfortable to share yours.
And when I dig too deep, tell me to stop. Because silences are crucial to process it all, for both of us, and they can be just as meaningful as words.